eclipse-glasses
Photo: AccuWeather

Damn New York, That Solar Eclipse Was Wack AF

Five years ago, my high school astronomy teacher got us mad hyped about the eclipse that just passed by New York this afternoon. And to be honest Mr. Farley, I don’t know why you gassed us all up because that was just wack af.

Obviously if you were in Oregon or somewhere else in the path of totality where you could actually experience a full eclipse, it must’ve been nuts to see the sky blackout in the middle of the day like goddamn Apocalypto.

However, out here in New York, people still went bonkers for what was honestly one of the most lackluster celestial events of my lifetime. New Yorkers really lined up for hours to cop special glasses. The New York Times reported earlier today that at the American Museum of Natural History “hordes of people pushed their way to the second floor terrace.”  The New York City Department of Transportation even advised drivers to keep their headlights on due to the possibility of dusk-like darkness. Trust us, no one in this city was going to swerve off the road because it just slightly less sunny.

Why New Yorkers lost their shit to stare into a partially obstructed bright dot high up in the sky, I don’t even know. I must have read 15+ articles this weekend instructing me how to prepare myself for this “once in a lifetime” event. And I’m very glad that I didn’t waste my weekend cutting pinholes into cereal boxes or spending $20 on solar sunglasses.

Still, shouts out to all the kids who just permanently destroyed their eyesight by looking at the sun with a pair of clout goggles. Hope you’re happy, Mr. Farley.

Related Posts

News
News

Live Stream the Solar Eclipse

News
News

Of Course Trump Looked at the Eclipse with Naked Eyes

News
News

Become NYC’s Biggest Tool With This App That Changes 2 Skyscraper Spire Colors

News
News

Avocados Are Weaponized in Bronx Deli Assault

Graffiti
Graffiti

New York City Writer ACNE Has Died

Ad

Latest News

nas-rapture Film

PREPARE FOR ‘RAPTURE’

Mass Appeal’s new Netflix series premieres this weekend at SXSW
same Hot Takes

It Was a Type Beat Year

The search for something new in a year of sameness
shea serrano Features

Shea Serrano Quit His Teaching Job, Now He Has Two Best Sellers and Two TV Shows

"It is funny to just walk in and just be a Mexican, because I’m usually the only one there"
mf doom Features

The 10 Best DOOM Songs of 2017, Ranked

Even after 'The Missing Notebook Rhymes' went missing, the masked villain still caused havoc
worst cops Features

The Worst Cops of 2017

The hall of shame
donald trump Features

32 Songs That Dissed Donald Trump in 2017

The "F.D.T." wave
lil peep News

R.I.P. Gus, Long Live Lil Peep

Resisting nostalgia at the speed of the internet
88 rising Features

Sean Miyashiro of 88rising Connected the Cultures

With 1.25 million YouTube subscribers and a gang of talent, 88rising controlled the new East-West flow
eminem Video

Eminem By the Numbers

You may know how many f*cks he gives, but what about the other crucial figures from Slim Shady's career?
tape Features

Why 2017 Was Rap’s Year of the Tape

Seven labels explain why they're still rewinding cassettes back
safdie brothers Features

The Safdie Brothers Got Gritty as 2017’s Filmmakers to Watch

"You might not like the feeling that you're feeling, but you can still be entertained by that feeling."
best albums Features

The 25 Best Albums of 2017

The essential sounds that defined one very strange year
hey arnold Humor

Everything About Christmas is Awful, Except the ‘Hey Arnold!’ Special

The one redeeming thing about this trash holiday
combat-jack Features

Knowledge Darts Vol. 32: Winter Solstice

I never got to say thank you
jeezy Video

Open Space: Jeezy

"You can’t just crush a diamond with a rock. It’s hard, it’s tough. But it’s bright."
Video

Rhythm Roulette: Boi-1da

The wait is over