Damn New York, That Solar Eclipse Was Wack AF
A let down of a lifetime, fam
Five years ago, my high school astronomy teacher got us mad hyped about the eclipse that just passed by New York this afternoon. And to be honest Mr. Farley, I don’t know why you gassed us all up because that was just wack af.
Obviously if you were in Oregon or somewhere else in the path of totality where you could actually experience a full eclipse, it must’ve been nuts to see the sky blackout in the middle of the day like goddamn Apocalypto.
However, out here in New York, people still went bonkers for what was honestly one of the most lackluster celestial events of my lifetime. New Yorkers really lined up for hours to cop special glasses. The New York Times reported earlier today that at the American Museum of Natural History “hordes of people pushed their way to the second floor terrace.” The New York City Department of Transportation even advised drivers to keep their headlights on due to the possibility of dusk-like darkness. Trust us, no one in this city was going to swerve off the road because it just slightly less sunny.
— NYC DOT (@NYC_DOT) August 21, 2017
Why New Yorkers lost their shit to stare into a partially obstructed bright dot high up in the sky, I don’t even know. I must have read 15+ articles this weekend instructing me how to prepare myself for this “once in a lifetime” event. And I’m very glad that I didn’t waste my weekend cutting pinholes into cereal boxes or spending $20 on solar sunglasses.
Still, shouts out to all the kids who just permanently destroyed their eyesight by looking at the sun with a pair of clout goggles. Hope you’re happy, Mr. Farley.